Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Macho (knockoff of Brut)

A poor man's Brut?  A cheap knockoff of a cheap cologne - what the hell is the point of this?  So you can save four bucks?

Being a big fan of Brut, I figured I would be the ideal person to review Macho.  People who don't wear or like Brut shouldn't review this because they're invariably going to hate it.  I love Brut and all those 60's/70's styled fougeres like it.  Macho is labeled as an "Aftershave/All Over Sport Splash", and sells for a dollar for an 8 ounce plastic bottle at your local Dollar Tree store.

I'm not going to mince my words here: Macho sucks.  This is, without a doubt, the weakest, most watered down fragrance I have ever smelled.  You can douse yourself with Macho, and the smell will be completely gone in five minutes.  That's what I get from this, and my skin does not have a problem with holding on to a scent for a long time; I rarely complain about fragrances not lasting very long.  This is like splashing water on yourself.

What about those five minutes?  What do they smell like, you might ask?  They smell awful, that's what.  Imagine the smell of windshield wiper fluid, only watered down, and you've got Macho.  Or imagine Hai Karate watered down with gallons of rubbing alcohol.

This juice is so ridiculous.  When you unscrew the cap, you'll see that the bottle's got this huge wide open mouth, kind of like on a bottle of beer.  Oh great, now you can enjoy spilling half the bottle on yourself next time you use it, with that hideous juice dripping all down your arms, on the floor, on your pants, in your lap, etc..  And get this: when I opened the bottle, there were suds in the cologne!  Not tiny air bubbles, but suds, like when you open up a bottle of Mr. Bubble. 

Macho is not a bargain by any standard.  Sure, it's only a dollar a bottle, but why waste a dollar on this crap?  Go buy a candy bar or something. The only thing worth a dollar will be the enjoyment of pouring my bottle of Macho down the shitter.

I give up.  This is going right in the trash.  I give Macho a big fat F.

1 comment:

  1. Sounds exactly like something stuigi should be forced to drink.....and wear.