Wednesday, August 1, 2012

DKNY Men

Oh my god, I believe I've finally found a fragrance that is actually worse than Wings For Men or Beverly Hills Polo Club Classic.  I didn't think that was possible.  I know it's definitely worse than Nautica Competition and Patchouli Homme, two other horrendous fragrances on my personal shit list.  That fragrance is the 2009 edition of DKNY Men.

What inspired me to sample this fragrance was the look of the bottle - sturdy and manly, with an iron clad look that reeks of quality.  DKNY must have put all the money in this frag's budget into the bottle, because what's inside it smells freaking terrible.  I doubt there is a single natural ingredient in this.  The only word that describes this (other than "awful", "disgusting", etc.) is "metallic".  The whole idea of a perfume that smells like metal is bad, but apparently there's a big market for this kind of shit. 

Describing the scent of DKNY Men is easy, but subjective and personal.  Have you ever eaten with a metal plate, like the one you get in a camping mess kit?  If so, have you ever tried cleaning one of those things with steel wool, cold water and dishwashing liquid?  I have.  The by-product is one of the most revolting, spine-shattering smells I know; I'm shivering just thinking about this.  Now imagine smelling a metal plate that you've scrubbed so hard with steel wool that it's warm, and on the verge of exploding from metal fatigue.  Imagine licking the plate.  Those are the things that go through my mind when I smell this bastardly brew.

As of today, this is hands down the worst fragrance I have ever smelled.

MY RATING:  1/10

Fragrance House:  Donna Karan

3 comments:

  1. I have scrubbed that metal plate so I know what you mean--hope you didn't buy a bottle!

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  2. Shamu, you're right, this crap is awful. I ripped this tripe a new one on Basenotes, but in a way what you've perceived is more interesting than I did. I'd kill for this thing to smell like a mess kit - that'd at least connote something different...terrible but different. But I find it to smell like every bad male fragrance cliche. Like you, the bottle and box beckoned and I had the misfortune of a blind buy.

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  3. I was lucky to have a sample of this, so I didn't get stuck blind buying this shit.

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